One-star tourist

Us humans love sharing an opinion.

We review everything.

Dive centres.

Resorts.

Coffee.

Toasters.

Crew: amazing.

Current: stronger than expected.

Visibility: "could have been better."

But there's one side of the story we've never heard.

What if the fish got to review us?

⭐☆☆☆☆ — Nudibranch

Large groups every time.

They all stop and stare.

Don't think they have particularly good eyesight.

Camera flashes are completely unnecessary.

⭐⭐☆☆☆ — Moray Eel

Looked directly through my front door.

Made prolonged eye contact.

Left without introducing themselves.

Very strange behaviour.

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ — Grouper

Pleasant enough.

Passed by quietly.

One waved.

Welcome back anytime.

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ — Octopus

Very appreciative for some reason.

One followed me around for several minutes.

Looked genuinely disappointed when I went home.

Nice to feel valued.

⭐☆☆☆☆ — Cleaner Wrasse

Rude...

Attempted to provide a free service.

Repeatedly pushed away.

Apparently personal hygiene isn't for everyone.

⭐⭐⭐☆☆ — Grey Reef Shark

Mixed experience.

Half the group noticed me.

The other half pretended they had.

Appreciated those who respected my personal space.

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ — Turtle

Very enthusiastic visitors.

They all seemed incredibly pleased to see me.

Next time, please visit outside of napping hours.

⭐⭐★☆☆ — Triggerfish

Seem oddly nervous.

They all become much faster swimmers whenever I appear.

Can't imagine why.

Lovely cardio, though.

⭐☆☆☆☆ — Mantis Shrimp

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Spent several minutes trying to find me.

I was watching them the entire time.

Embarrassing, really.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — Manta Ray

Lovely visitors.

Always excited to see me.

Excellent bubbles.

Would swim through again.

⭐⭐☆☆☆ — Clownfish

Returned.

Still outside my house.

Still pointing.

I do like the shiny things they carry.

Beginning to take this personally.

We like to think we're quiet observers.

Calm.

Respectful.

Barely noticed.

From our perspective, that's probably true.

From theirs...

Twenty strangers arrive every morning.

Float slowly through the neighbourhood.

Peer into people's homes.

Point at the locals.

Take hundreds of photographs.

Then disappear without saying goodbye.

Maybe we're not explorers after all.

Maybe we're just very polite tourists.